Deeply and Lightly

For a few years now I have wished that we might draw a map of the journey it took to build Jordan Court. The map I have in mind isn’t a paper map like you would have found in the 20th century, clear and delineated and perfectly to scale. And it would certainly not be a Google map that gives you directions to your destination turn by turn. The map that I’ve been dreaming of would be one of those medieval maps, where the landmarks are rivers and swamps and high mountain passes and deep dark forests. The path on this map would be winding and perhaps even circuitous, and if this map were true to form there would be wild beasts drawn onto it.

Our map would show the obstacles we thought we’d never overcome––limited pre-application funds, city ordinances about coastal live oak trees, a narrow window for over-drawn county funds, being the first in northern California to use SB 35, HCD demanding last minute changes in the ownership structure, etc. Along with the obstacles the map would also illustrate the unforeseen traveling mercies we received along the way––neighbors passionately supporting Jordan Court, new Section 8 vouchers being offered for the first time in decades, changes to city law about coastal live oaks and affordable housing, to name a few.

As I made my way through this land I had never traversed before––and only a few travelers had––I developed a spiritual practice, mostly by necessity. My prayer and practice were to, “believe in it deeply and hold it lightly.” I found that if I didn’t believe deeply that safe, affordable housing for elders was needed in this part of Berkeley, I wouldn’t have been able to continue moving forward and help navigate the multitude of seemingly insurmountable obstacles. And, just as importantly, I realized that if I didn’t hold the outcome lightly, that I would crush the possibilities of what could be––in my own grasp. Believing deeply in Jordan Court and holding the possibility lightly of it not being built became a spiritual discipline in that seven-year journey, one that came more easily some days than others.

The practice that I held is similar to the Ignatian practice of Indifference. Rather than being a practice of not caring, as Ruth Haley Barton has written this kind of indifference, “is a state of wide openness to God in which we are free from undue attachments and have the capacity to relinquish whatever might keep us from choosing for God and love in the world.” Other traditions have described this stance as well, and in Christianity we see this practiced by Jesus in his life, all the way through to his death. And the lives of the saints, with their radical openness to God’s desire for them, are lights for our own paths when the way forward grows dim.

I’ve been practicing this discipline of believing deeply and holding lightly for the better part of this year as I’ve been discerning a possible call to be the next Bishop of California. Some days the believing deeply part is harder, other days it’s the holding lightly. But when I’ve been able to practice this way, I’ve been given a feeling of deep and settled peace and am very grateful for the fruit that it has borne thus far. Because in those moments I’ve come to know that my task is to be as open as I can––to God, myself, the people around me. That is enough. And the people of this diocese, similarly listening for the Holy Spirit, will be doing the same. And that will be enough.

I honestly don’t know what the outcome of this discernment will be. It’s not that I don’t care, but that I trust that there will be love ahead in the next turn of the road regardless. That said, I am very, very curious to see what kind of map will be drawn from this particular journey of depth and lightness.

Peace,

–Phil +

Notes from a Tidepool

Last Saturday, over thirty members of our community gathered at Fitzgerald Marine Reserve in Half Moon Bay for the inaugural All Souls Tidepool Expedition. Climbing carefully over slick rocks and kelp patches, we looked for anemones, hermit crabs, mussels, chitons, and snails. In a shallow pool at the water’s edge, we found a single orange sea star, *Pisaster ochraceous*—a survivor of the mysterious disease, Sea Star Wasting Syndrome, that has devastated species around the world.

On the trip, many people asked about my life as a marine biologist— what I studied, and how (or if!) it relates to my current church work. I thought I’d take this chance to share a little more about my research and some of the points of connection I see between science and faith.

——

For my Masters of Science degree, I studied Leptasterias, a genus of six-armed sea stars. Leptasterias are small and purple, about the size of a quarter, and they live in tidepools from Alaska to California. Unlike most marine invertebrates, who cast their larvae into the open ocean, Leptasterias brood over clutches of bright-orange, shimmering eggs. A mother clings this way for months, scoured by wind and salt and waves, until her offspring hatch, grow tiny limbs, and crawl away.

I did my fieldwork in Oregon, at six research sites up and down the coast. My job was to search for Leptasterias, clip one limb off each specimen (don’t worry—it grows back!), and sequence their genes. In the As and Ts and Cs and Gs of nucleotides, the genetic language, I sought answers to questions about relationship and resilience.

Are sea stars from northern Oregon the same, genetically, as those from southern Oregon? (No).

Do they migrate up and down the coastline? (Maybe).

Most importantly, do local populations have enough genetic diversity to survive rapidly changing conditions? In the face of warming seas, acidifying oceans, and shrinking habitat, will Leptasterias migrate, adapt, or go extinct? (We don’t yet know).

The intertidal zone is a harsh world, wild and volatile. It’s a boundary zone, a meeting of opposites, the place where our human habitat—dry, warm, predictable—meets a world that feels (to us, at least) chaotic, inhospitable, and cold. Yet in this harsh world, life flourishes. Crabs scurry between crevices. Mussels gleam from boulders, tethered by silky byssal threads. In clear pools, anemones lurk like translucent flowers, unfurling delicate green tentacles.

I worked on a team of scientists studying mussel recruitment, invertebrate competition, and species density. Often, the best tides (-1 or lower) were before daybreak. We’d climb down the sea cliffs by moonlight, hauling packs of gear—transect tapes, waterproof notebooks, wire cages, drills—over slippery rocks. We worked by headlamp, hands chapped and numb, as the tide crept slowly higher and the sky lightened to match the pale gray sea. Eventually, my breath slowed to match the measured whoosh, in and out, of waves on the shoreline. I can still feel the coarse sting of spray on my cheeks, the tang of salt on my tongue.

On those long, cold mornings—or later, as I spent hours in the lab pipetting and centrifuging and distilling tiny amounts of tissue into samples we could sequence and read—several patterns began to feel very clear.

Life finds a way forward, even amid threats and scarcity. In the intertidal zone, food is sparse and space is limited. One moment a stretch of rock belongs to the land. The next, it’s covered by sea. Species are forced to get creative, taking on every variation of shape, color, substance, and form. Scarcity begets abundance; threat drives innovation. Life has an inexorable drive to survive, even—especially—in the face of that which threatens life.
In nature, there are few clean lines or categories. Depending on who you ask, there are as many as twelve to twenty different ways to define a “species.” Creatures live and mate and compete and cooperate (or not) regardless of how we sort them into groups or what we call them. We think we “discover” species. But we only name—fleetingly, incompletely—a diversity and pattern that’s already there.
Knowing has many dimensions. There’s the kind of knowing that calls creatures “specimens,” and scientists “neutral observers”—the kind of knowing that lets us predict, quantify, and categorize. And then there’s the deeper knowing, the understanding, that happens through relationship and encounter. To understand in this way, we must venture to unknown places, to habitats and ecosystems where humans are only visitors. We must be willing to get curious, to enter into the world of other organisms and wonder, “How are we different? How are we alike?”

I’ll let you make the leap (or not) between these three observations and the things we recite, pray, or sing in church each week. I’ll let you contemplate the similarities and distinctions between science and religion as ways of knowing the world. I’ll simply leave you with three questions.

Where can you pay closer attention to the world around you?

What connections can you see between the particular and the universal, and physical and the transcendent?

How can wonder become a practice in your daily life?

And for those who missed it, I hope to do another tidepool trip soon!

– Emily +

(Photos courtesy of Frank Heuser)

Announcements & Events

Children & Family

Nursery The downstairs nursery is open and available to you for your use whenever you’re at All Souls. This is not a staffed nursery, so an adult must be there with your child, but if you need a quiet place to take a time out, change a diaper, let your child play or take a rest, the nursery is open for you to do all of those things. If there is a service going on that’s being livestreamed, you will be able to watch the livestream on the computer in the nursery as well.

Children’s Ministry - Sunday School continues each week during the 10:30 a.m. service. Children head downstairs at the start of the service, then return after the “Peace.” See an usher if you need directions.

Children pre-K to 1st grade: Godly Play (in the Godly Play 1 classroom)

Children 2nd-5th grade: Faith Explorers (in the Fiery Furnace room)

Youth Program - Regular Youth Group meets on Sundays from 7-8:30 pm in the Parish Hall.

Upcoming Youth Event: Beach day at Christ Church Alameda! On Oct 22nd, 12:30-3:30, join youth groups from around the Deanery for pizza, kayaking, and beach worship. Reach out to Emily B to RSVP.

If you are not receiving weekly Youth Program updates but would like to, please reach out to Emily B to be added to our mailing list.

Questions about Children, Family, and Youth ministry? Contact Rev. Emily B. (emilyb@allsoulsparish.org)!

Adult Formation

Jesus, Power, and Privilege Join our Racial Justice Team as they teach our latest Adult Formation class. In this class we’ll explore our agency to create change in someone’s life, in our community and in the world and how Jesus addressed power and privilege. Join the racial justice committee in examining all this and how to apply it in our own life and at All Souls. Remaining meetings are October 8 and 15 in the Parish Hall and on Zoom. Click here.

Introduction to the Spiritual Autobiography Struggling with doubt and faith? This is one of the age-old dilemmas for thoughtful Christians, how much of this can we come to believe and what must be left to the ineluctable mysteries. Throughout the ages Christians have turned to writing their spiritual autobiography to help them find their way. Join us as we look at St. Augustine, Thomas Merton, Anne Lamott, Cole Arthur Riley, and others. (October 8, 15, 22) Small group – not on zoom – and meeting after the 10:30a service in the Common Room. Led by Jane Vandenburgh. Click here for more information.

Click here to see the new Adult Formation Calendar for 2023-24.

Events & Everything Else

Call for Names of the Departed: In advance of the Feast of All Saints and All Souls, which we will celebrate on Sunday, Nov. 5th, we are gathering names of those who have died in the last year. Those names will be read aloud and honored during our service. Please email names to Diana Markley (diana@allsoulsparish.org) before October 31st.

Stephen Ministry Wish you had someone outside your family/friend circle to support your journey through a difficult or unfamiliar situation? A Stephen Minister is a possibility. Stephen ministers are trained fellow parishioners who offer confidential care, prayer and listening hearts. Contact Madeline Feeley madelinefeeley@gmail.com or Rev. Emily B for more information or to connect with a Stephen Minister.

Flowers on Sundays at Church If you are interested in dedicating the flowers in the Church on Sunday mornings to a loved one or a particular remembrance, please fill out this form and indicate which day you would like to contribute the flowers and what you would like the dedication to say. The dedication will appear in our announcement sheet on the Sunday you have selected. The suggested contribution for flowers is $75, which can be paid to All Souls either electronically or by check (see the giving page on our website for more information there), and be sure to write in "flowers" in the memo line.

Please contact Maggie Cooke for any questions, dmcooke92@comcast.net.

Open Door Dinner Open Door Dinner is this Sunday, October 8th. If you are able or interested in helping put the meal together or deliver some meals to the camps around Berkeley, please see John Cockle, cocklejl@gmail.com for more information.

Hearing Update Erkhembat Lasran's hearing/decision from the Judge is scheduled for October 11th at 11 am at 100 Montgomery Street, San Francisco. Please join a delegation from All Souls to support him again at the conclusion of this long journey from Mongolia, to SFO where he asked for asylum, to ICE detention, release, asylum hearings, and now the final decision. Through our work with the Interfaith Movement for Human Integrity, All Souls has welcomed immigrants and asylees through the years--including Erkhembat, who we supported with temporary housing and bail money, so that he could await his hearings in relative freedom. Please see or text Gretchen Donart for more info (206-235-8913).

Request for Moving Assistance A member of our community, Teresa Vosper, is seeking help related to her move to a new apartment. If you have a few hours of time to donate sometime this weekend, and are willing to help pack/unpack/move boxes, please reach out to Teresa at tlvosper@gmail.com.

For all events at All Souls, click here!