The Pathfinder: November 22, 2023
Pathways to Pastoral Care
There’s a phrase that my spiritual director used to tell me. “God loves you so much that he’ll meet you exactly where you are. But God loves you so much that he won’t let you stay there.”
This sentiment– though it may seem light-hearted at first– captures much of what I’ve learned about pastoral care. As care-givers– chaplains, priests, lay ministers, family, or friends– we’re called to strike a delicate balance. On the one hand, caring means validating someone’s experience, entering into their emotional world as a willing companion. It means showing, through words or actions, that you’ll stay with them– that no situation or feeling is beyond the reach of companionship, acceptance, and love.
On the other hand, caring means inviting someone to look beyond the present moment. It means holding a hopeful vision when others can’t see it, and assuring them that every painful experience has another side.
At All Souls, we welcome this nuance and tension-holding. We want you to bring all that you’re carrying– grief, doubt, confusion, suffering, questions– no matter how formless and unresolved it may be. And, we also want to offer you resources– through story, Scripture, prayer, discussion, and liturgy–to help you move through challenging experiences, transforming what feels lonely into something life-giving and shared.
Below is a “map” of sorts, showing the many avenues of pastoral care that All Souls offers. We hope that when you reach a roadblock, you can find a pathway toward care that feels comfortable to you. When you lean on another person, you give a great gift to our community. You provide an opportunity for someone to know you more deeply, and you help us remember that we all depend on each other and on a Presence beyond the self.
Care from the Clergy
For pastoral care in an emergency, you can call the Parish Office at 510-848-1755 and press 8 for the priest on call. Phil, Emily B, or one of the other clergy in our community will be available.
You are also welcome to reach out to any of our staff for a pastoral appointment. You’ll find our emails by clicking our bios on this page.
Care from Lay Ministers
This month, we’ve been sharing stories and testimonials from our Stephen Ministry Program. Stephen Ministers are lay persons with systematic training and ongoing peer supervision. They provide 1:1 supportive, confidential Christian care for individual All Soulsians requesting companionship as they deal with rough patches in life, including loss, illness, transition, family challenges, and grief. You can read about our Stephen Ministry Program here.
Stephen Ministers are available to folks in our parish, as well as the wider All Souls web of community (former parishioners, family members, and others on a case by case basis). To learn more, or to request a Stephen Minister, please email allsouls.stephenministers@gmail.com. You’re welcome to refer someone else for Stephen Ministry, but we ask that you seek their permission first.
Below, you can read a moving reflection by the Rev. Dr. Ruth Meyers about her experience of Stephen Ministry.
Care From Our Community
At All Souls, there are two main ways that we pray for and with one another.
First, we welcome additions to our Prayers of the People, which are read aloud during each service. If you’d like to add a person, you can email our administrative assistant, Diana Markley: allsouls@allsoulsparish.org. Please seek permission to ensure that the person is comfortable being named aloud.
Alternatively (or in addition), you can share your request with our Prayer Partners. The Prayer Partners are a group of people who take on the responsibility of receiving prayer requests from other members of the congregation and incorporate those into their own individual prayer practice. These prayer requests are not anonymous, unless requested, but they are kept in close confidence and not shared beyond the group of Prayer Partners. To submit a request for our Prayer Partners, please email Emily B (emilyb@allsoulsparish.org).
If you would like to offer a meal to a parishioner going through a difficult time, or would like to receive one, reach out to Cathy Goshorn. And if you are unable to attend Eucharist on Sunday morning there is a group of All Soulsians who are trained and ready to bring the Eucharist to your home. If you would like to receive the Eucharist on a Sunday, email me or Phil and a lay eucharistic visitor will bring the consecrated wine and bread from Sunday’s service to your home following the service.
Finally, if you have any questions, or you’re not sure where to begin, feel free to reach out to one of our staff directly. We are more than happy to help connect you to the support you need. Communities are formed from a network of care-givers and care-receivers, and at some point in our lives, we will all be both. Thank you for sharing your gifts, your needs, and your vulnerabilities.
Peace,
–Emily B+
A Companion in Grief
Eleven years ago, my father died, following a recurrence of cancer that had been successfully treated two decades earlier. I flew to New Jersey, helping my mother plan the funeral and walking with her in the early days of widowhood. Two weeks later, I flew home to California, arriving home late Saturday night. An hour later, my brother called to tell me our sister had died, suddenly and unexpectedly.
The two deaths so close together shook me to my core, precipitating a crisis of faith.
Phil suggested that I might find it helpful to talk with a Stephen Minister, and I gladly accepted. On Sunday mornings, I slipped into the back row of the chapel for the early service, and after the service, week after week, I sat in the chapel with my Stephen Minister, pouring out my heart. It was so helpful to have someone listen, without judgment or criticism, giving me space to grieve, to be angry at God, to face what came next.
Because it turned out to be a year of death. The professor who had inspired my academic vocation, who mentored me in the early years of my teaching career and eventually gifted me with some of his library, died a few months later. Then a dear friend, who with his wife had walked me through difficult years in my young adulthood and supported my priestly vocation, succumbed to a long illness. Just a few months later, his wife died.
My Stephen Minister accompanied me through it all. Knowing that I could sit with her every week, that I could cry or laugh or say anything, got me through those difficult months. Her gentle presence and listening ear were healing balm.
When my mother died last year, I knew it was time for another Stephen Minister. Though this was not as complicated a grief, it was still a blessing to have a companion who prayed with me, listened to my stories of my mother, and gave me space to remember and to let go. We met for just a few months, enough time for me to find my footing again.
I am so grateful for this ministry in our church, for compassionate listeners who embody God’s steadfast and abundant love and healing power.
–The Rev. Dr. Ruth Meyers
Living Waters Discussion This Sunday
This Sunday we will be talking all things Living Waters. Right after the 10:30 service, at about 12:15, leaders from the Vestry, the Property Committee and the Capital Campaign will be in the Parish Hall to share a comprehensive update on the Living Waters project. Grab a cup of coffee and come on over.
Phil will moderate and participate in the discussion.
If you have questions about the finances of the campaign, about the projects or the next steps, or anything else, this is the place to get them answered. You can submit your questions here: Living Waters questions, or you can submit questions at the discussion. The discussion will be available on zoom (click here) and will be recorded.
The transformation of our space will begin soon, we’re looking forward to sharing the update!
–Richard Lynch
In Thanksgiving
As we all embark this week on our adventures into Thanksgiving and the wonderful holiday season, it is the perfect time to be “all in” and reflect on how we are living in gratitude. Being thankful can involve acknowledgment through giving back. Living in gratitude can often be seen as an on-going state of appreciation and being thankful with outward acknowledgment.
For me personally, pledged giving at All Souls over the last 13 years has been a very important way to be connected and deeply rooted in my spiritual journey. Now as the Treasurer, I have an even broader perspective of the impact of gratitude and the blessings that flow from this important ministry. Stewardship is not just a once a year activity.
It is really a year-round opportunity for us to be “all in” and give from the heart whenever the Spirit moves us.
We are pleased to share an update on this year’s Stewardship campaign: we have received pledges totaling $572,008 (139 pledges) to date. We are truly grateful for the generosity of so many of you as we work together to meet our goal of $655,000. Please note there is still a shortfall of $82,992 to meet our goal.
On December 12, the vestry meets to review and approve the proposed All Souls 2024 budget. We encourage all of you to prayerfully consider your pledge at this time and submit it early so the vestry can make informed budget decisions regarding 2024. We welcome your support and appreciate all that you do to make All Souls Parish a vibrant and healthy community of loving souls living in gratitude.
Please click here for an easy and quick way to fill out a simple online pledge form and submit to the church. The traditional method of mailing or returning your pledge card to church still is a good option or you can email Deirdre Nurre at deirdre.nurre@gmail.com.
Happy Thanksgiving!
–Shelley Altura, Treasurer
Have you wondered…
how the enigmatic stone object, which stands in the courtyard in front of the Parish Hall windows, came to be there?
I hadn’t noticed it until, during Covid outdoor worship, we moved the altar to the walkway just in front of it at the west end of the cement surface. The item had clearly been carved, though perhaps long ago, or maybe just of soft stone that had eroded. And it seemed to be on some sort of cement pedestal—not a cement block, but about that size.
This mystery joined others I had long ago filed as forgettable until I was inventorying a box of miscellaneous materials in the archive.
At the end of the contents, flat against the bottom of the box, I came upon a small ornately written card-mounted cream colored piece of paper, pictured below. It reads,
This stone carving in the garden
was given in memory of
Lydia A. Williams
born December 21, 1878
died June 6, 1869
first director of all Souls Altar Guild
by her son David Allen Williams
The hand-written note on the back of the card gave the same birth date, but death date as June 6, 1969. Additional notes: “Learned church embroidery at a convent in Boston. Did lots of church embroidery for Grace Cathedral in S.F. + St. Margaret’s House in Berkeley (Scenic and Hearst) and taught embroidery classes there. Stone by Parish Hall came from my back yard. D. A. Williams”
I guessed I would be able to find out more about Lydia Morton Allen Williams, maybe in the many archive binders that have listings of the comings and goings and family members of parishioners in some years, or in the records of marriages and funerals. But there was nothing more about her specifically, except in relation to her children’s entries. There were baptismal records of her 3 children born in the teens years of the 20th century. Later, confirmation records of some of the children, and listing as a parent, with husband George, of two of the children at their 1930’s marriages at All Souls.
So, now I wonder: When, in the development of All Souls Chapel starting in 1906, was an Altar Guild formed, and was it formed initially of women who had been a part of the St. Marks’ Altar Guild? Was crafting of vestment sets and fair linens the primary driver of demand for church embroidery? Had the Williamses moved to Berkeley from San Francisco, hence the connection with Grace Cathedral, or was that solely a result of being from St. Marks parish (which All Souls was for 20 years though it met as a separate congregation with its own building). Was she a student at St. Margaret’s House (a Berkeley institution that trained deaconesses and lay women for ministry in the Episcopal Church, before women could be ordained) before her marriage?
We’ll probably never have the answers to these questions, but in this season of All Saints/All Souls we remember her as one of thousands of past All Soulsians who are part of “so great a cloud of witnesses” who created the All Souls path we now walk.
–Marilyn Flood, Member Archive Organizing Group
Announcements & Events
Happening This Week
Reading Between the Lines Bible Study @ 7:00a. Click here to join by Zoom, or join them in-person in the Common Room.
Midsentence with Mark: the First Gospel In this class, we will explore the Gospel of Mark including what we know about the origins and authorship of the Gospel, its unique Christology, as well as some of its notable parables. This gospel is also used extensively as a source for the Gospel of Matthew and Luke and we will discuss some of the synoptic parallels. This class is a way to get acquainted with the Gospel of Mark and help understand and interpret the gospel as we move through the readings of the coming liturgical year. (November 26, December 3, 19, 17) in the Parish Hall and on Zoom.
Newcomer/New Member Class Anyone who is new to All Souls or is hoping to learn more about what it means to be a participant in the life and community of All Souls is welcome to our Newcomer and New Member Class taught by Emily Hansen Curran and the Rev. Phil Brochard. We’ll spend the four weeks diving into the Membership Expectations of All Souls. At the end of the class, those interested in becoming a member of All Souls have an opportunity to do so. November 19-December 10th in the Common Room, downstairs.
Living Waters Information Session All are welcome to join us for a conversation around some of the updates from the Living Waters campaign and projects. Head to the Parish Hall just after the 10:30a service (around 12:15p), or join us by Zoom (click here).
Hospitality at All Souls Sign-up here (click here) to contribute to Sunday coffee hour food!
Worship This Week
8am, contemplative Eucharist (in Chapel)
10:30am, sung Eucharist (click here to access the live stream)
Wednesday 9am Service. Join the Zoom call here, or join us in person in the Nave at 9a. Password: 520218.
Children & Family
Nursery The downstairs nursery is open and available to you for your use whenever you’re at All Souls. This is not a staffed nursery, so an adult must be there with your child, but if you need a quiet place to take a time out, change a diaper, let your child play or take a rest, the nursery is open for you to do all of those things. If there is a service going on that’s being livestreamed, you will be able to watch the livestream on the computer in the nursery as well.
Children’s Ministry - Sunday School continues each week during the 10:30 a.m. service. Children head downstairs at the start of the service, then return after the “Peace.” See an usher if you need directions.
Children pre-K to 1st grade: Godly Play (in the Godly Play 1 classroom)
Children 2nd-5th grade: Faith Explorers (in the Fiery Furnace room)
Children’s Choir has returned! Click here to see the flyer for more information.
Youth Program - Regular Youth Group meets on Sundays from 7-8:30 pm in the Parish Hall. (no youth group this week)
If you are not receiving weekly Youth Program updates but would like to, please reach out to Emily B to be added to our mailing list.
Save the Dates: Summer Camp 2024 at the Bishop’s Ranch Summer Camp 2024 dates are here, so grab your calendars and mark these dates! Registration will open soon and will be announced on the Bishop’s Ranch Instagram and Facebook pages as well as via email.
June 23 – June 28 BREAD Explorers
June 30 – July 5 Intergenerational Camp
July 8 – July 12 READ Camp Week 1
July 15 – July 19 READ Camp Week 2
July 21 – July 26 BREAD Adventurers / Discoverers
You can read more about each camp, sign up for updates and learn about our new tiered pricing structure at the link by clicking here.
Questions about Children, Family, and Youth ministry? Contact Rev. Emily B. (emilyb@allsoulsparish.org)!
Justice & Peace
Ways to help with the Israel-Hamas War, from Episcopal Relief & Development Since the start of the current Israel-Hamas war, Episcopal Relief & Development has been supporting long-time partners in the Holy Land including Al Ahli Hospital, a ministry of the Episcopal Diocese of Jerusalem, to provide emergency medical support in Gaza. Despite being hit by two explosions that damaged buildings and claimed hundreds of lives, the hospital is still serving those who are in need of care. Episcopal Relief & Development stands with the brave staff of Al Ahli Hospital as they risk their lives to help others.
Please pray for peace in the Holy Land and consider making a contribution to the Episcopal Relief & Development Middle East Fund to help meet the growing needs of all people in the region.
Stay informed about the Episcopal Relief & Development response at episcopalrelief.org.
Everything Else
Spaghetti Again Men’s Christmas Dinner Spaghetti Again will hold our annual Christmas Dinner on Monday, December 4 at 6 pm in the Parish Hall. We invite SA friends, spouses & significant others to join us for a holiday celebration (festive attire encouraged- including that colorful sweater you’re reluctant to show in public!) Turkey provided, guests are asked to contribute a special dish and beverage to share. We also extend the invitation to members of the All Souls staff. Please let us know if you are coming or have questions. Bob Cross: rcross@skootskyder.com; Kirk Miller: kirk@kirkmiller.net.
Advent Festival Advent begins on December 3rd. Kick off the season of Advent during the service on Sunday morning and then come back to church on Sunday evening at 5p in the courtyard for our Advent Festival! We’ll have a service of prayer, music, and poetry around a fire and then head into the Parish Hall to green our Advent wreaths, eat cookies, write cards to folks who are incarcerated, and make this year’s All Souls Christmas ornament. Please bring cookies to share.
Holy Hikes Eucharist at Lands End SF (December 20) Holy Hikes- San Francisco Bay Area will be holding a hike Wednesday, December 20 at 12:45pm at Lands End in San Francisco. We will meet at the parking lot at the Lands End Lookout by the old Sutro Baths in San Francisco, located at 700 Point Lobos Avenue. From there we will hike to the labyrinth at Eagle’s Point, which overlooks the ocean and Golden Gate Bridge. After allowing time to walk the labyrinth, we will finish the liturgy by the shore and then hike back. The hike will be about 2 miles round-trip and fairly easy except for the last 1000 feet of the trail before the labyrinth. That segment includes about 200 stairs down to get to the labyrinth and shore. All are welcome to attend; no RSVP needed.
When: Wednesday, December 20, 12:45 p.m.
Where: Lands End Lookout, 700 Point Logos Avenue, San Francisco
Contact: the Rev. Justin R. Cannon, holyhikes@gmail.com
