A Cloud of Witnesses
During my Master’s of Science degree, I took a scientific diving course. We did our field training in Hood Canal, Washington– a fjord within Puget Sound, with an average water temperature of 50 degrees. We prepared for weeks, wrestling in and out of 7 mm wetsuits, calculating buoyancy and weight loads, practicing the hand signals we’d need to communicate underwater. And then it was time– time to wade into the frigid water, deflate our BCDs, and descend.
For a minute, all I could feel was panic, as I sank within the water column and watched the light of the surface grow fainter and farther away. The visibility was poor– five feet or so– and without any reference point, I felt dizzy, unable to sense which way was up or down.
Then slowly, my eyes adjusted to the brown-green water. I listened for the hiss of my regulator– breath in, breath out– and the sound steadied me. I began to look around, and I realized: I’m floating in the middle of a kelp forest.
All around me, thick green fronds stretched up like columns, rooted to the seafloor sixty feet below and growing toward the light. The blades– flat, green, and shining– rippled and swayed, pulled by the surge in a gentle dance. Faint shafts of light filtered through the canopy, illuminating suspended particles of phytoplankton and zooplankton. I felt held, suspended, entwined within a web of matter and energy. No amount of practice prepared me for this awakening of my senses– this descent to a mysterious, eerie, alluring world where I was a mere visitor, arrested in awe.
I thought about this experience many times last week, on our Feast of All Saints and All Souls. As I read the Gospel, I stood beneath the Cloud of Witnesses– a great forest of ribbons, translucent and rippling, suspended from the ceiling like fronds of kelp. But the connection wasn’t just visual. I felt the same sensory presence, immersed in the full dimensions of a moment and aware of the infinite connections from which that moment is made.
For years, I’d studied Scripture. I’d memorized the rite of baptism, practiced writing sermons, and studied the theology of All Souls and All Saints Day. But nothing prepared me for how it felt to stand among the congregation, gazing up at the ribboned names of departed loved ones, as the words of the Beatitudes washed over us. Nothing prepared me for the joy that followed– a joy of the body, and of the spirit– as I sprayed you with holy water and we reaffirmed our baptismal commitment to seek justice and uphold hope. Everything I’ve learned suddenly became real and living. I began to see how liturgy can truly transform us. We enter a sacred space carrying grief, fear, and loneliness. We sing, move, listen, eat, and pray together in centuries-old rhythms and patterns. And then we leave feeling just a little lighter, a little more hopeful, because we realize our experience is shared.
This weekend– All Saints and All Souls Day– was one profound example of the larger lessons you’ve all been teaching me about worship, ministry, and community life. If I had to pick two words to describe my experience at All Souls, I’d choose “connection” and “realness.”
You all are teaching me new layers of relationship and fellowship. From our Wednesday morning Eucharist discussions to classes with the Stephen Ministers to Youth Group activities, I’ve seen all of you engage with me and with each other in vulnerable, life-giving ways. You’re teaching me how preaching is a form of conversation– a dialogue between the author of the text, the preacher, and the questions and needs of our own congregation. You’re showing me what it means to slow down and listen– to the rhythm of a liturgical calendar, to the sequential unfolding of the lectionary, to the themes you raise in our individual pastoral conversations. Not all of it is easy. The experiences that draw us together are sometimes joy and celebration, and sometimes suffering and loss and pain. I’m grateful for the many people who shared intimate stories of family members, mentors, and friends who have passed away. Yet week after week, I see you showing up with openness, curiosity, and courage, willing to enter a “living faith.”
What happens here at All Souls is, I believe, rare in our culture– and therefore vital and necessary. Amid the grief and crisis of our world, local and global, we need a place to turn to where we can simply be together. We need values to guide us, rituals to comfort us, places where no question is too big and no fear too absolute. We need a place where what is individual becomes shared, where we can feel our way forward together, transforming what seems impossible to something that we can collectively bear.
I’m reminded of a poem I’ve long leaned on, by the 14th-century Sufi mystic, Hafiz:
Out
Of a great need
We are all holding hands
And climbing.
Not loving is a letting go.
Listen,
The terrain around here
Is
Far too
Dangerous
For
That.
Let us hold each another now, as we are held in the web of those who have been and those who are to come.
Blessings,
–Emily Boring+
Where Does My Help Come From?
The first time in my adult life I'd awakened to physical, existential terror was the morning of 12 September, 2001, the azure skies over Washington DC marred by a slow drift of acrid smoke from the still-smoldering Pentagon.
The second was Monday, 9 March 2020 -- pandemic lockdown, when the comforting routines of daily life came to a shuddering halt. Are we all going to literally die now? I thought, shocked to hear myself using the term literal literally.
Covid changed my world view, making me back into a traditional homemaker as my husband, daughter, daughter's husband and infant daughter were all at risk, among -- and this was a new classification -- the vulnerables.
My job was to care for them, so too our late-thirties son. Over that first terrible weekend, our son lost his job, his health insurance, his beautiful apartment on Lake Merritt, and, most awful, his girlfriend.
When our son, who suffers from bipolarity, came then to live with Jack and me that day there commenced the most difficult period of our collective lives. As a child I’d lost my father to suicide and my mother to a decades' long hospitalization for mental illness so my claim that the pandemic nearly did me in —physically, emotionally, psychologically— is not anything I am flinging around as hyperbole.
The difficulties of my childhood did, however, equip me with some survivor skills, my learning early on that we do not get through this life alone. I was helped as a child by being adopted, along with my brothers, into the stability of my father's sister's household. My aunt in turn was helped by her devotion to the Episcopal Church, where she worked tirelessly, the rhythms of the church week and liturgical year ordering all our lives. My aunt was the only trustworthy and competent adult in our interesting but astonishingly messed-up family. Her reward? she got the unenviable task of raising all seven of the kids in my generation, six of whom then made it to productive adulthood. My little brother, only five years old when our father died, eventually took his own life as well.
So I learned early on to become the one who cries out for help, loudly if need be. Covid came, we were all in crisis, everyone was in terrible need. But Americans, as a people, are bad at asking. We are prideful, the act is humbling, our collective preference is to suck it up, walk it off, so forth, anything but admitting to mutual dependency. As a people we view even having need as somehow shameful.
Hands reaching trustingly out for help, hands then offering what is needed. I recognized these gestures early on as a child when I was taken in in an act of Christian generosity. In this give-and-take we become one and other's true relations, finding belongingness in the Beloved Community. Asking for help takes strength, trust in others and bravery. The ability to ask for help has become, over the course of my now long life, an article of faith, also the most true indication of sanity.
By June of 2020 our son had fled our house, breaking off contract with every person in our family, completely vanishing. I was no longer functioning and so was on the phone to my primary care physician at Kaiser who watched, stricken over several half-hour video appointments while I did little aside from weep. She’s Iranian, first in her family to be born here. Do you all have all this? I asked Dr. Zafar. Alcoholism, mental illness? all this estrangement, the cataclysmic generational disfunction?
Well, no, she said, voice soft, expression a little quizzical. In traditional societies such as hers, as she had no need to tell me, coming to your relations for help is what everyone would normally do. I called my psychiatrist, who listened and prescribed, called my talk therapist who made little sounds of sympathy in 20-minute e-Chat segments.
Knowing she had something to do with the Stephen Ministers, I got Madeline Feeley's number from the church directory. I called because I knew her -- she'd taught the catechumenate class a few years before when I was in the process of joining All Souls. It felt a lucky -- an even blesséd occurance -- that I knew of her connection as I'm not sure I could have cold-called a stranger with all this, my precious family's ongoing tales of massive woe.
Stephen Ministers are trained, as it happens, to handle it when someone like me calls, weeping over decades of anger, sorrow, frustration, disappointment. They were there on standby even then we were all in terror about whatever horrors were still to come.
Jews call all this psouris, that particular heartache brought on by troubles in your family. The term comes from the Yiddish for narrowing, constriction, the sadness and apprehension that follows you. It just seemed so cosmically unfair, that I -- who had already lost both parents and my younger brother -- was now losing my son to the darkness, too?
Madeline put me together with Jill Barash who worked with me as my Stephen Minister for two years. Our bond was immediate, so useful, so comforting. Jill simply showed up emanating Christ's infinite love and acceptance. She did what any of us might do.
We met weekly for two years, Jill becoming one of my most intimate confidants. We met to read psalms, we paced the labyrinth in the courtyard, walked our dogs at Point Isabel. We prayed together and laughed a lot and somehow, somehow, we made it through that awful time.
It seems a miracle that on one Fall afternoon then almost two years into Covid, Jill and I were sitting at a picnic table at the Bulb after walking our dogs. As we were getting ready to take off, Jill wanted to share one of the Songs of Ascent. As she read my eyes were led upward toward sunsetting blasts of light rebounding off the old glass windows of Berkeley houses.
I life up my eyes to the hills. Jill read from Psalm 121. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made the heaven and the earth.
It was that night, Wednesday, October 13, 2021, my son called.
November is Stephen Ministry Awareness Month. Look out for reflections from other All Soulsians in the Pathfinder and during Sunday services. You can find more information about Stephen Ministry here or email madelinefeeley@gmail.com.
–Jane Vandenburgh
Are you called to vestry leadership? Are you curious? If not, who is called?
It must be fall, for it is nominations time again! As we prepare to wind down our term on the Vestry, Kim Wong, Shawn Adderly, Kirk Miller and I are charged with collecting and offering nominations for the next class of Vestry members and Deanery delegates.
At the next annual meeting of All Souls on January 28, 2024, the Parish will elect four new Vestry members, who will serve a three-year term.
We'll also elect four new Diocesan Convention Delegates, who shall serve for two-year terms, during their first year as alternates and during their second year as delegates to the convention. Serving as delegates in 2024 will be Toni Martinez-Bortfeldt, Ann Meyer, Kirk Miller, and Cathy Thompson.
Are you called to serve on the Vestry or as a Delegate? Are you curious? If not, who is called?
WHAT IS THE VESTRY?
Perhaps you've wondered what exactly the Vestry is or does. According to our by-laws "The Vestry constitutes the board of directors of the Parish and shall direct and manage its temporal activities and affairs. The basic responsibilities of the Vestry are to help define and articulate the mission of the congregation, support the church’s mission by word and deed, ensure effective organization and planning, and manage resources and finances." Working with the Rector and staff, the Vestry ensures that we make church together, pursuing questions of faith and meaning while using our resources widely. Over the next three years, the vestry will nurture and guide our shared work of racial justice, implementing the Living Waters capital projects (including a major renovation of our church building), and seeing the fruits of the Isaiah project. The vestry welcomes and thrives on diversity in background, skills, and experience, and many different qualifications may make a person an excellent candidate. We will need people with charisms for collaboration, prayerful discernment, and the capacity to connect with, guide, and hold responsibility for the financial, spiritual, and strategic well-being of our shared community.
WHAT IS A DIOCESAN CONVENTION DELEGATE?
The annual Convention of the Diocese of California takes place in October each year, and All Souls elects Delegates to attend and represent our church. At the Diocesan Convention, delegates elect Diocesan officials, hear reports to the Convention, approve the budget of the Diocese and establish Diocesan policy and procedure by considering and voting on resolutions and approving changes to the Diocesan constitution and canons.
THE NOMINATION PROCESS
The Nominating Committee needs your help to select our new leaders! Through the end of this month and into December, we want to discuss and discern with anyone interested in service on the Vestry or as a Delegate. So, the time is now. Contact us with your interest or questions.
The nominating committee needs to announce to the parish its nominees to serve as members of the Vestry and representatives to the Deanery by the second Thursday in January. Additional nominations may be made by any member of the parish within five days of this announcement. In preparation for the Annual Meeting, the final slate of nominees shall be submitted to the Clerk of the Vestry in writing and announced to the Parish by the third Thursday in January.
The Nominating Committee welcomes your nominations, of yourself or others. If you wish to nominate someone else, please check with that person first! You may do so only with their permission. Please submit your nominations via the box in the narthex of the Church or this easy google form.
Blessings!
–Nydia MacGregor, Junior Warden
Announcements & Events
Happening This Week
12 Greek Words Every Christian Should Know (taught by L. Deihr and the Rev. Phil Brochard) The cultures that produced the Christian testament are significantly different from 21st century American life. By contextualizing 12 seminal Greek words found throughout the New Testament, we will grapple with the impossibility of translation, consider textual traditions and editions, try to enter into the cultural imagination of the Greek-speaking Mediterranean of the 1st century, and find out what difference that makes for us as Christians right now, today. (October 22, 29 November 12, 19). Happening during the 9:15 teaching hour in the Parish Hall and on Zoom (click here).
Spiritual Autobiography Drop-In Writing Workshop The Greeks of Homer's time called it nostos: that age-old story in which the epic hero can return home only after decades of trials, a voyage out beyond the Pillars of Hercules, the sailing on into the River Sea encircling The Known World. Odysseus descends into Hell and is raised from the dead. He returns to his wife and son in Ithaca only after losing all his ships and men.
Nostos, homecoming. How do we find ourselves at home here at All Souls Episcopal Parish in what's quickly becoming the Year of Our Lord 2024.
A group of intrepid souls has embarked upon this passage one Sunday a month after the coffee hour following the 10:30 service. Our next meeting is Sunday, November 12th at 12:30 in the Common Room. Any and all are welcome, please join us.
Ale Souls Ale Souls, the beer brewing affinity group at All Souls, returns! We’ll be brewing at church this Monday evening, November 13th. All are welcome to drop-in and hang out or bring some food and we’ll share dinner together. We’ll be in the Parish Hall from 5:30p-8:30p. Contact Emily@allsoulsparish.org if you’re interested.
Evening Prayer en Español All are welcome to join our seminarian Michael Drell and parishioner Elena Ramirez for Oración del Atardecer (evening prayer) on Friday evenings at 5p in the Chapel on Cedar St. All are welcome, even if you don’t speak Spanish! Email Michael Drell for more information, mdrell@ses.cdsp.edu.
Hospitality at All Souls Sign-up here (click here) to contribute to Sunday coffee hour food!
Children & Family
Nursery The downstairs nursery is open and available to you for your use whenever you’re at All Souls. This is not a staffed nursery, so an adult must be there with your child, but if you need a quiet place to take a time out, change a diaper, let your child play or take a rest, the nursery is open for you to do all of those things. If there is a service going on that’s being livestreamed, you will be able to watch the livestream on the computer in the nursery as well.
Children’s Ministry - Sunday School continues each week during the 10:30 a.m. service. Children head downstairs at the start of the service, then return after the “Peace.” See an usher if you need directions.
Children pre-K to 1st grade: Godly Play (in the Godly Play 1 classroom)
Children 2nd-5th grade: Faith Explorers (in the Fiery Furnace room)
Youth Program - Regular Youth Group meets on Sundays from 7-8:30 pm in the Parish Hall.
If you are not receiving weekly Youth Program updates but would like to, please reach out to Emily B to be added to our mailing list.
Save the Dates: Summer Camp 2024 at the Bishop’s Ranch Summer Camp 2024 dates are here, so grab your calendars and mark these dates! Registration will open soon and will be announced on the Bishop’s Ranch Instagram and Facebook pages as well as via email.
June 23 – June 28 BREAD Explorers
June 30 – July 5 Intergenerational Camp
July 8 – July 12 READ Camp Week 1
July 15 – July 19 READ Camp Week 2
July 21 – July 26 BREAD Adventurers / Discoverers
You can read more about each camp, sign up for updates and learn about our new tiered pricing structure at the link by clicking here.
Questions about Children, Family, and Youth ministry? Contact Rev. Emily B. (emilyb@allsoulsparish.org)!
Justice & Peace
Ways to help with the Israel-Hamas War, from Episcopal Relief & Development Since the start of the current Israel-Hamas war, Episcopal Relief & Development has been supporting long-time partners in the Holy Land including Al Ahli Hospital, a ministry of the Episcopal Diocese of Jerusalem, to provide emergency medical support in Gaza. Despite being hit by two explosions that damaged buildings and claimed hundreds of lives, the hospital is still serving those who are in need of care. Episcopal Relief & Development stands with the brave staff of Al Ahli Hospital as they risk their lives to help others.
Please pray for peace in the Holy Land and consider making a contribution to the Episcopal Relief & Development Middle East Fund to help meet the growing needs of all people in the region.
Stay informed about the Episcopal Relief & Development response at episcopalrelief.org.
Recent immigrant from Ukraine Looking for Housing Julie & Eric Legrand know of someone who has recently immigrated from Ukraine who is looking for some temporary housing. He was recently scammed on a sublet and so is in need of a temporary place until he can build back up the money he will need to rent a new spot. If anyone has a studio, converted garage, extra room, cottage who would be interested and willing to house him, he would greatly appreciate it. Please get in touch with Julie or Eric Legrand for more information.
Coming up in Adult Formation
Midsentence with Mark: the First Gospel In this class, we will explore the Gospel of Mark including what we know about the origins and authorship of the Gospel, its unique Christology, as well as some of its notable parables. This gospel is also used extensively as a source for the Gospel of Matthew and Luke and we will discuss some of the synoptic parallels. This class is a way to get acquainted with the Gospel of Mark and help understand and interpret the gospel as we move through the readings of the coming liturgical year. (November 26, December 3, 19, 17) in the Parish Hall and on Zoom.
Newcomer/New Member Class Anyone who is new to All Souls or is hoping to learn more about what it means to be a participant in the life and community of All Souls is welcome to our Newcomer and New Member Class taught by Emily Hansen Curran and the Rev. Phil Brochard. We’ll spend the four weeks diving into the Membership Expectations of All Souls. At the end of the class, those interested in becoming a member of All Souls have an opportunity to do so. November 19-December 10th in the Common Room, downstairs.
Everything Else
Spaghetti Again Men’s Christmas Dinner Spaghetti Again will hold our annual Christmas Dinner on Monday, December 4 at 6 pm in the Parish Hall. We invite SA friends, spouses & significant others to join us for a holiday celebration (festive attire encouraged- including that colorful sweater you’re reluctant to show in public!) Turkey provided, guests are asked to contribute a special dish and beverage to share. We also extend the invitation to members of the All Souls staff. Please let us know if you are coming or have questions. Bob Cross: rcross@skootskyder.com; Kirk Miller: kirk@kirkmiller.net.
New Form for Pathfinder Publishing Starting today, we’re migrating the publishing of this newsletter from Mailchimp to Squarespace, the host of this website. We’re hoping that this will streamline the process of publishing this newsletter and be easier on the staff. If you subscribe to this newsletter and don’t get it in your inbox next Thursday, please reach out to Emily Hansen Curran (emily@allsoulsparish.org) and we’ll get it squared away.
